Thursday, July 15, 2010

I have a baby. Now what?


When you come home from the hospital with your little bundle of joy, you see nothing but promise when you look into the eyes of your child. Soon you realize that there is a lot of competition between parents. As you are thrilled that your child starts holding her head up on her own, someone else talks about how their child is already rolling over unassisted.

These conversations can get you down quickly and make you wonder if you are doing all that you can for your child. Rest assured that every child does develop on a different time frame. The American Academy of Pediatrics has a list of guidelines and target ages to meet the guidelines but even they know that just because you are not on "target" does not necessarily mean that there is something wrong.

The most important thing you can do for your child is to encourage them and to see everything as an easy opportunity to teach. Some people have a hard time talking to a small baby that is basically unresponsive but that is when a child is absorbing everything you say. They can not speak yet but they can remember words you say and figure out the meaning of the words. They can pick up on small nuances in your voice and demeanor. If you are stressed or angry, they can pick up on that and re-create the same emotions.

Speak to your baby, sing to her and read books to her. This will assist her in time to learn to speak. It is okay to sing the same songs to her over and over. When my child was small, I completely narrated everything I did to him. As I got him dressed I pointed out his arms, legs, head, fingers and toes. He was one of the first children in his class to recognize these body parts. We never really "worked" on learning these things, we just sang a little tune as we got him dressed each morning and then again when we put his pajamas on at night.

Under no circumstances am I telling you that you must go out and buy every toy you can find that says it is an educational toy in order to further your child. I am also not telling you that you should always point out how great your little Timmy is doing and ask your friend why little Abby is so far behind. I am encouraging you to use your imagination to teach the basics to your child in the first years of his life.

As you put on their shoes, ask for the left foot and then the right foot. They will not always get it right but they will learn that there is a difference. As you tie those same shoes, recite the shoe tying song (sang to the tune of Here We Go 'Round the Mulberry Bush):

This is the way I tie my shoes

Tie my shoes
Tie my shoes
This is the way I tie my shoes
So early in the morning!

By making little bunny ears
Bunny ears
Bunny ears
By making little bunny ears
So early in the morning!

I tie them in a little knot
Little knot
Little knot
I tie them in a little knot
So early in the morning!

As you do things throughout your day, sing about it to your child. You will not immediately see your child carrying on conversations but you will be rewarded later when they begin to develop language skills.

Do not just speak to your child though, they need your touch also. Snuggle, cuddle and rock your baby. Every touch stimulates the baby's brain. Do not just do these things when your baby is upset, nurture him when he is happy, alert and quiet also. This will be just as rewarding for you as it is for the baby. This will release some tension for you and will help you to bond with the baby. Your child looks at you with eyes of love and trust when they are happy and rested, relish this time.

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