10 Parenting Mistakes That We Have All Made

 By: Angie @ Kids Matter

When you are about to become a parent, you see the world through a complete fog of happiness. You dream of being the perfect parent and how amazing your children will be.

Once the baby gets in the house, you live in a sleep deprived fog ranging from "look at how amazing and beautiful my baby is" to "Honey, it's your turn, I got up the last time!!"

As you start your parenting trek with a small baby, it can be hard to picture the choices you make in parenting that will make a life long influence. You just feed the baby, change the baby's diapers and snuggle up to smell that baby smell. As that baby grows though, you will make many decisions every single day that will influence the way your child interacts with the world. The best advice that I ever received was from my Granny. She told me "Raise that baby so that EVERYONE can love him, not just you and your husband". My Granny was very wise! She knew that if I spoiled my child, other people would just tolerate him, not love him for all of the wonderful things he has to offer the world.

Without further ado, here is a list of parenting mistakes that every parent (including me) makes at least once, but you have to be willing to change your ways!

Mistake #10: Already have a vision of what our child will be like. Each person is unique. Just because a parent or a sibling is never shy, does not mean another child will not be shy. You cannot go into parenting with a preconceived notion of what your child will be like. They say that no one ever really changes, but I think that is untrue. I am very different as a "40ish" Mom than I was as a "20ish" fun loving girl and that is because my parents cared enough to let me grow up. Let your child be the person that they will be. It is your role to accept and love this person, not to change her.

Mistake #9: Always trying to be your child's BFF. This is a biggie. Some days it can be hard to be the adult, but we still must complete that task. If I was just my kid's friend, homework would never get completed, he would probably start ditching school in kindergarten and he would never have the chance to blossom into the wonderful person that I know he will be. We all want our kids to love us and to sing our praises from the highest mountains, but if I do my job correctly there will be days that he loathes me, rolls his eyes at me and prays that he was switched at birth and his real parents will rescue him any day. If you need approval so desperately, seek it elsewhere. You have to make tough decisions to raise a child and trying to be the BFF will always affect your decisions.

Mistake #8: Judging other parents and kids. We have all been there. You are in the grocery and there is a parent walking through the store with a screaming child and the parent does NOTHING! You think to yourself, what is wrong with her? Why can't she control her kid? If that was my kid, he would NOT act like that.  Really? Your kid has never cried in public? You always have your kids under control all the time? Kids are vocal and they cannot always figure out how to process emotions. Does that mean we let our kids act like hooligans in public? No, we just do the best we can and we understand that other parents are doing their best too. Back to that screaming kid in the grocery: Maybe the Mom is in a daze because she is a single parent and was just terminated from her job? Maybe the child just lost someone close to him and he is traumatized? There are any number of things that could be going on. If you do not know the journey that family is on, cut them a break and maybe some day other parents will cut you a break too.

Mistake #7: Reliving YOUR youth through your child. You had your chance! Now you need to sit back and let your child make her choices. We have all seen the parents that think they have the next World Class Ballerina, NBA Pro, MLB All-Star, etc. Just because they have a little talent does not mean they need to be pushed to be a champion every single second, of every single day. Let your kid enjoy the HOBBY they choose. If you are always screaming at them to be better, to work harder, to just try; do you think they are having fun? Allow kids to have fun and enjoy themselves, there will be plenty of competition in life, let them savor childhood.

Mistake #6: Never let them make mistakes. People learn from the mistakes they make. If you always tell your child how to do something correctly and then ensure it is correct, they have learned nothing. If your young daughter whines about doing homework every single day and then tells you that she didn't have any homework today, choose to let her learn. The next day, she will be the one facing her teacher and admitting that she neglected to do her homework. After that embarrassment, maybe the tune will be different at home when it comes time to do homework. I am not saying, let her fail a grade by never doing her work, but at some point kids have to learn cause and effect.

Mistake #5: Practice what I preach, not what I do. Parents have tried this for eons and it still doesn't work. Kids see everything and you have to practice what you preach. If you always tell them to share their things with others and then they see you hoarding the chocolate chip cookies to be eaten after they go to bed, they will not believe in sharing. If you tell them to always be kind to people less fortunate than you and then they see you lie to get out of some charity event, they no longer feel the need to be kind. If you make them eat all of their vegetables, you better eat yours too.

Mistake #4: Always being in a hurry. There are times to be in a rush to get someplace, but you have to slow down sometimes and let your kids be kids. Adults today are wired to be in a hurry, kids are wired to meander. An adult goes straight from point A to point B, without interruptions. A child starts at Point A and wanders through most of the alphabet before he finally arrives at Point B. Take time to savor the explorations of your child. Take time to enjoy the awe and wonder of the world through the eyes of your child. Whatever age your child is this very second, is the only time he will ever be this age! Take time to enjoy it!

Mistake #3: Not understanding the developmental stage of our kids. I have seen parents that are distraught that their kid seems to be behind physically. The child has an advanced vocabulary so they expect her to be advanced everywhere. That is not how it works. Each area of each child develops on its own time frame. As a parent of a child with a disability, I can assure you that kids cannot do everything. In my house we have a burst in physical improvement and then we have a burst in vocabulary improvement. He cannot put all of his efforts into all things at once. Accepting that was the best thing I did for may parenting skills. Having said that, only my son can decide which  skill (physical or speech) he will focus on for now. I am just along for the ride and encouraging him all the way.

Mistake #2: Always believing that your child is perfect and not at fault. It can be so difficult to hear anything negative about our child. We tend to see the intent, instead of the action. We also think that our child has friends that are a bad influence, the teacher is terrible or hates our kid, the other parents are jealous, etc. Sometimes you have to put the ego aside and realize that there could be times that your kid may be the instigator and not the victim. If your child fails a test, maybe he didn't study. If a parent calls and says that her son came home sobbing because your child was bullying him, you have an obligation to look at the situation without your ego and with clear eyes.

Mistake #1: Making empty threats. This can be one of the hardest things in parenting. Your kid will not pick up the toys all over the floor and so in a moment of anger you declare. "If you do not pick up these toys, I am taking away every single one of your toys!" He still doesn't pick up the toys and you just made a threat with several layers to it: 1) Now you have to pick up the toys. 2) Now you have to gather up all of her toys. 3) Where are you going to put all of these toys if she can't play with them? 4) You will have to listen to her whine all day and night for every single day that she has no toys.
If you make a threat, you have to follow through with the consequences. Kids will learn at a very young age when you are bluffing and they will then call you out every single time. Do not make big threats and the ones you make, you have to be willing to follow through with them or you will lose your household to anarchy!

Parenting is not the easiest job in the world, but it can be the most rewarding! Give it your all, try to avoid the big mistakes and you and the kids will come out better on the other side!

Parenting in the Tech Age

Parenting in the Tech Age

Julia @ Kids Matter

          As a child who grew up in the 80’s, I am always fascinated by the behaviors of kids today. I guess I understand now, why my grandfather would shake his head in disgust at my torn jeans and Pink Floyd T-shirt. I’m starting to understand his way of thinking as the torches are passed to the children of the “Gen Xers” generation.

           Last time I wrote to you about “#LookUp”, so it is only natural that this blog would follow that course. My blog is in response to the tragedy in Wisconsin; two 12 year old girls attempted to murder their “friend” in order to be accepted into a fantasy website.

          I am not going to give you the gory details of this gruesome and morbid tale. What I will talk about though, is how we as people, in one of the most technologically advanced societies in the world, can work to not let something like this happen. To keep children from being engrossed and lost in a website that is FAR above their emotional and mental capabilities.

          I have to wonder if technology, social media, and accessibility are making us lazy. (We don’t have to work hard for anything.) Kids don’t ask what a word means anymore, they simply “Google it”. They use search engines instead of adults as a source of information.

          Do you ever think about what our grandparents went through compared to what we go through? Our grandparents starved during the Great Depression. They faced throat ripping dogs and fire hoses to keep them from a “whites only” drinking fountain. They fought in WWII and brought a tyrant to his knees. What can we take from our grandparents and their struggles? What would our grandparents say about how parenting has changed? Are there ways to plug in their teachings and parenting today? Absolutely!

          First, take control; our grandparents were always in control. You are paying for the internet and electricity, so you make the rules. Kids despise but require rules, so stick to your guns no matter how they protest. Don’t let your kids have a computer in their bedroom. Have a family computer in a neutral zone of your home. Work with computer experts on how to monitor your child’s online activities. Sit near your child while they do homework on the computer.  

          Ask them what they are working on and discuss it. When I was in school, my mother and I would talk every day about my history class. We talked about Watergate, The Gettysburg Address, Vietnam, ‘One if by land, two if by sea’, and where she was on November 22, 1963. By engaging with your children during homework and computer time, you are finding out more about their lives and what struggles they go through with school work, as well as the cruel politics that are school life.

          Stay involved, ask hard questions, expect shocking answers, require honesty at all costs, build trust, keep and respect space, and most importantly, remember they are curious. They are designed to be inquisitive about everything. It’s up to us to talk to them about their curiosities and the consequences. Ask them their opinion of what happened in Wisconsin. What do they think about what happened? What do they think should happen now? Listen. Discuss. Learn. That is life at its zenith and worst. Avoid the horrors those three poor families are facing today.   Do your best to prevent having to one day say, “If only I had known, asked, or listened.”

The Costs and Benefits of Disposable VS. Reusable Diapers

The Costs and Benefits of Disposable VS. Reusable Diapers

Robin @ Kids Matter

Many parents struggle with the decision of whether to use disposable or reusable diapers.  Disposable diapers are easier to use both at home and in child care centers.   However, it is better for the environment and a more cost saving option to use reusable/cloth ones.  Paying for disposable diapers has been found to be one of the top causes of stress for low income parents and is a stressor for parents above the poverty line also. 

Economics: The costs

Babycenter.com has a cost calculator to show how much your baby will cost. (http://www.babycenter.com/baby-cost-calculator )   It estimates one month of disposable diapers to cost $72 vs. $19 for cloth diapers that you wash and reuse.  That is a savings of $636 per year by using cloth diapers.  Depending on the cost of diapers in your area, and the age of your baby, the cost of disposable diapers may be much higher.  Reusable diapers do require an initial investment in the original purchase of these diapers, but that money is quickly regained in savings.  Instead of having people bring boxes of disposable diapers to baby showers, they could each bring a pack of reusable ones to help offset this cost. 

Carbon footprints: The green side

Even the most environmentally friendly disposable diaper leaves a bigger carbon footprint than cloth diapers.   The most biodegradable ones still have a portion of material that can’t decompose completely.  Cloth diapers are not only reusable, but also are more biodegradable when they are disposed.  According to the Real Diaper Association, disposable diapers are the third most common consumer product found in landfills today, and may take up to 500 years to decompose.  (http://www.realdiaperassociation.org )

Maintenance: The work

Cloth diapers are more work.  They need to be washed, folded, and sometimes stuffed with a liner.  Picking up a new package at the store and going to the trash can to throw a used disposable one away, is much easier.   Also, using cloth diapers when traveling can also be troublesome because of having to carry the soiled diapers with you and the availability of laundry facilities may be limited.  Carrying plastic bags to wrap dirty ones in is fairly easy, but another option is to use disposable ones at times such as these.  Many childcare centers these days will work with you to allow you to use reusable diapers during the time your child is there.  The important thing here is to provide them with an easy and hygienic plan for how to store the soiled ones until you pick your child up. 

If you are interested in finding out more about using reusable diapers, the website for the Real Diaper Association has a user’s guide with tips to help you along the way.

Tueday Teachings - Combating the High Costs of Food

As families struggle to make ends meet, the deck seems to be stacked against us. If your household is anything like mine, you are shocked each time you walk into a grocery store. Most budgeting programs advise you to spend 10% of your annual income on food, but most Americans average spending a little over 20%.

Every household wants to cut costs and save money, but that can be hard to do when your paycheck is stretched tight for just the "essentials". I have found some websites that I hope can help. As you are looking at these websites and trying to save money, get the kids involved. Let them figure out the cost per serving of your food, how much you can spend at the grocery to use only 10% of your income. Which item is really more affordable, the smaller package or the larger package?

First, the Iowa State University Extension Office has a great website called Spend Smart, Eat Smart. There is great information on here about how to save money. There is a section that shows you how much you should be spending at the grocery. How to find the best deals in the store and then there is a recipe section with the cost per recipe and the cost per serving broken down for you. I know what you are thinking: "I can not cook from scratch, I need convenience foods!" We all need some level of convenience in our lives, I understand this. I have a family and a full time job too, but I also want to spend my money on experiences for my family, not just food.

For recipes, I love Food Hero! They have some great and economical recipes on their website, as well as some food storage hints and tips. I personally can not wait to make the Chicken and Dumpling Casserole. My family loves Chicken and Dumplings, which is already an inexpensive meal, but this I can make during the week after work. This website is a product of Oregon State University and it has lots of recipes. You can get a free membership and save your favorites in your own recipe box.

Another great website for inexpensive recipes and general frugal ideas is Cheap, Healthy, Good. They do whole foods as often as possible but are not ashamed to use some convenience items also. I have made a few recipes from their website and I highly recommend them! In addition to the great recipes, the blog is very funny to read. It is written by 3-4 ladies with a great sense of humor and a large desire to help people.

What are some of the things you are doing to save money?
Coupons?
Generics?
Menu Planning?
All homemade?

Share your ideas with us.

9/29 International Peace Day

How do you define peace to a small child? Is it enough to use the dictionary definition of:

a. in a state or relationship of non-belligerence or concord; not at war.

b. untroubled; tranquil; content.

 

Most small children will not understand this definition and most parents will be thankful that their children do not understand "war, belligerent and troubled". To teach the concept of peace to smaller children you must think locally and show globally.

 

Begin by discussing how your child and her friends do not all look alike. Some people have blond hair, brown hair, red hair or black hair. Some people are tall, some people are not. Some people have light skin, some people have dark skin. Just because someone does not look like you, does not mean you can not be friends. We are all friends. After this discussion, you can help the children by making a unity wreath. The picture above is from the Kansas City Public Library. It would be great to have each child trace their hands enough time that each student has one hand print from every friend. If you do not want to trace all of those hands, they can also leave paint hand prints and cut those out when dry.

 

Another great activity would be to make a peace sign using the children's hand prints. Draw a large peace sign on a peace of butcher paper. Set out a large selection of paints (finger paints or craft paint) and allow the children to dip their hand in any color and put it on the peace sign. The picture above is a poster from All Posters but gives you an idea of what to create with a child.

 

Act out peaceful and non peaceful situations with the kids. When they are all together, use puppets or stuffed animals to act out the events. Maybe have one animal call another a name. Now have one animal ask the other to play with them. Ask the kids which act was peaceful and which act was not. Discuss how everyone thinks the animal felt in the non-peaceful act and what we can all do to make our friends feel good. How can we bring peace into our lives?

 

Take time to remind the children each day how to bring peace into life. Provide small tokens, like a peace sign sticker when you observe the children playing well. Eventually children will understand peace and hopefully embrace it in their daily life.

 

Storytelling - A gift for the whole family

Everyone has favorite stories that they love to tell. People tell fairy tales, folk tales, childhood memories, old family legends, stories from friends or family or even just what happened to them today. Many of these stories will become tales that are told over and over but many of them will be forgotten.

Tell lots of stories in your family to stimulate your children. There are several things that stories can help children with.

1) Background: Many people wander through life wondering where they are going but it can be easier if you know where you came from. If your family has special traditions explain to your child why you do these things. That is something your child will carry with them always. Do you eat certain foods at certain times? Do you have a special vacation spot that you go to time and again? Explain these things to your child. Also dig deeper, tell them about your heritage. Where does your family hail from? You may learn several new things yourself.

2) Imagination: When you tell a story instead of reading a book a child must visualize the pictures on their own. This will assist with their reading comprehension and when they begin to write, an imagination will make it easier to come up with ideas. It can be difficult as an adult to use our imagination but try hard to stimulate your child's imagination.

3) Language: Telling stories and reading books are a great way to stimulate a child's language skills. They will hear words that they have never heard before, they will hear the proper sequence of words and they will detect the punctuation of phrases. The more words a child hears, the larger their vocabulary as they age. Be ready to explain a word to a child if you think it is a new word to them or if they ask for an explanation.

4) Convenience: You do not need any supplies to tell a story. You can do it in the car, the bed, a doctor's office or anyplace else that you may be.

5) Reading skills: Telling stories teaches a child the nuances of plot, sequence and characters. They will begin to understand the concept of a story long before they can actually read.

6) Lessons: Many stories that we tell or read often teach a lesson. Whether the lesson is about sharing, not hitting or just being nice many stories teach many lessons. After you tell your child a story, take a few minutes to talk to them about it. Ask what they learned in the story.

Story Projects:
Ask family members near and far to record themselves telling stories. They can read books, tell stories from their childhood, make up stories or recite fairy tales. These will be great for your child to listen too. It not only helps with their development but it also keeps family that they may not see every day familiar to them. If they do not want to record their voice they can also write the stories and your family can read them.

Story Dice: Have you seen these yet? They are wooden blocks purchased from a craft store that you draw pictures on or decoupage pictures onto them. Then you roll a dice and start telling the story based on the picture that comes up. Some samples that you can purchase are below.

Muffin Baby Shop on Etsy - I love that these are in color.

Mama Mayl's Shop on Etsy - love the symbol key and book.

Fancy Fannie's Shop on Etsy - I love the variety on these.

Oh Sew Crafty Canada's Shop on Etsy - These also come with a book to write your stories.





Tuesday Teachings - Summer Learning

Picture Source

Most schools are out or getting ready to let out here in the United States and kids can not wait for summer vacation. As a child, I remember the excitement and thrill I felt when it was time to finally put away the textbooks and pencils; it was time to run, play and be free! Kids need that time to just be kids but summer vacation is also no time to just forget everything they learned in the past school year.

You can give your child numerous opportunities to continue learning over summer vacation without them even realizing it.

Cook together - Let your child pick out a new recipe to try and then take them to the store to purchase all of the ingredients. This gives them opportunities to work on reading (recipes and food labels), writing (grocery list), math (measuring ingredients and timing meal) and is a great activity to do together. Research shows that when kids are involved in selecting and preparing food they take ownership of the meal and are more likely to not only try the food but to also enjoy the food.

Garden together - Go to a local garden center and give your child a set amount of money. They can then select several plants to grow in your yard or in pots. This works on math skills (spending money and spacing plants), nurturing skills (caring for the plants)and then recipes and cooking skills.

Scavenger Hunts - See our blog post of 6/4/10 for a great scavenger hunt in the grocery store and we are hoping to give another scavenger hunt sheet for the great outdoors in the next week or so. This is a great skill for kids to teach them to focus, pay attention, search and read.

Photo Source

Public Libraries - Our local library kicks off their summer reading program on 6/1/11. The theme this summer is One World, Many Stories. We have participated in the summer reading program every year. It is cheap, challenging entertainment that encourages literacy making it a win-win for everyone!

Art Camp - No need to pay expensive camp fees. Get together with some of your friends and organize a camp for the kids. Each day the kids can rotate the house they go to and each parent would be responsible for one day of camp. If you need some great art ideas check out Pink and Green Mama's blog for some great ideas and e-books on outdoor arts.

Make homemade art supplies - see our blog posts for Cinnamon Applesauce Ornaments, play dough, Chalk Paint, and Surprise Soap.

In addition the the activities listed above, also remember that "Playing is Learning"! Have a great summer!

Homemade Valentine Gift

Ask your kids to be your Valentine this year and spend some quality time together.



Feel free to download our Family Activity Coupons and give them to your kids to cash in whenever they want to spend some quality time together. There are several activities already made, but we also left some blank for you to fill in with some of the great things your family likes to do together.

Leave us a comment and let us know what activities you have added on. Happy Valentine's Day!

Monday Meanderings - Banned Book Week

Well another Monday is upon us and that means it is time for Monday Meanderings. Normally, I would link you up with some very cute crafts or snacks but since this is Banned Book Week, I thought I would show you some of the books that have been banned.

Our first link is the American Library Association's list of the 100 most challenged or banned books from 2000-2009.

I personally find it sad that many of those books I have read and enjoyed them tremendously. The sad part is that somewhere there is a kid that will not be able to enjoy the books based on someone else's interpretation of the book. Everyone should be able to form their own opinion instead of some random person deciding for them.

I do believe that there are some books that are not appropriate for my three year old and since I am his parent, I can make that call on a book to book basis. Just because my son is not reading them does not mean I want the books off of the shelves. Each family has to decide for themselves what is appropriate and act on it. I would NEVER feel it is appropriate for me to tell you what to read, watch or eat. That is the right of every person to decide for themselves or their child.

Just glancing over the list I can assure you that we own all of the series in #1, I have read all of #13-#19 and #21 is one of my all time favorite books and movies. I read To Kill a Mockingbird about every other year.

Here is a list of banned children's books provided by Illinois Library. I can tell you that there are several books on this list that we own in our home or have checked out at our public library. I do not feel they have caused any damage to my child, they have enriched his life with language and illustrations just like any other book we have read.

During this week, look over the banned books and see how many of the books that you recall from your youth or see if there are books you already own that are on the list. I then challenge each of you to go to the public library and check out some of these books and make up your own mind: "Are they so bad that they have to be banned or is someone blowing the whole thing out of proportion?"

Have a great literary week.

Childhood Emotions and How to Cope

Children frequently have a hard to putting their emotions into words or into acceptable actions. If they become angry they will frequently turn to hitting or kicking instead of words. This is not because they are violent; it is because they do not have the social skills yet to voice their anger or frustration.

Listening is an important life skill and one of the most difficult to teach. Many adults are not good listeners but we must make the effort to listen to our kids. When your child speaks to you, show her that her opinion and her life are important. Hang up the phone, stop what you are doing and give her your undivided attention. Ask questions about her day and her stories.

Teach your child empathy for other’s point of view. Ask your child how he would feel if Tommy took the truck away from him. It is important for kids to realize that other people get their feelings hurt also.

If you see your child being kind or considerate to someone else, let them know you saw it. Being nice should be praised as much as a new skill. You do not have to stop the action to praise them but later, let them know you saw the way they were being nice to their friend.

Taking turns is usually very hard for kids. Role play with them; let them play with a toy and then you ask to play with it. This will not only teach them to share but will also show them an appropriate way to ask to play with something.

Explain to your child that all of his emotions are okay but all of his actions are not. It is never appropriate to hit, kick or bite someone and it is dangerous to run away from you when they are upset.

Sometimes children become frustrated that things are hard for them to do. This is when you explain that something else that they can do easily now, used to be hard for them to do. They just have to practice to make it easier.

Children need to develop reasoning skills. Use everyday activities to encourage that. When you wake up in the morning, tell him that it is raining outside, what should you wear today? If your child asks you why all of the time, turn the question back on him by saying, “I am not sure, why do you think it is that way?” Then discuss his thoughts with him.

These can all help us through the tough times of dealing with emotional children. Just take a deep breath and try to explain to them. This is not the time for you to act irrationally. If you become upset or frustrated, how can you expect your kids to know how to act appropriately? Take a deep breath and then smile and help your child. These are reactions that you want your child to learn and children always learn at home first.

Playtime Can Be Stressful

Children are not born with the ability to get along already ingrained in their DNA. They must be taught how to get along and interact with people. Many kids are shy and playing in a group can be very stressful for them and their parents. Here are some hints on helping your child to get along with other kids.

Find a friend that is near your child’s age and find activities for them to do together. It is sometimes easier to approach another group of kids if they have a friend by their side already.

When your child has friends coming over to play, remember that some toys are easier to share than others. If your child has a toy that is near and dear to her heart, put it away during playtime. Some toys that are easier to share: Cars, balls, puzzles, dress up clothes, kitchen toys and musical instruments. When you get these out, be sure there are enough for each child to have a few.

Do not always jump right in to help when your child and another child have a disagreement. You should let them try to work it out unless they are getting aggressive or violent.

A great way to get kids to play together is a craft project. Hang a twin size sheet on the side of a fence and give each child a spray bottle with paint that has been slightly watered down. They can each spray their paint colors and swap colors with one another. Once the sheet is dry they can see the large project that they created together.

Before you go to a party with a shy child, talk to the child and let them know what to expect. Tell them that they do not have to participate if they do not want to. It is okay to watch everyone else. A shy child should never be pressured to participate in an activity, some kids like to play alongside other kids, some kids like to watch other kids play for awhile before they participate and yet others will jump right in with both feet.

There is no wrong or right way for a child to approach a group of kids and ask to be included but sometimes it can help a lot if you allow the kid to role play a little with you or a bigger sibling. It can help to build up a child’s courage.

Chores For Kids

Everyone that lives within a household should help to maintain that household. No one should be excused from chores at home. Even the smallest of kids can help out. Chores will help kids to learn responsibility and respect for their property and the property of others.

Do not be vague in what you want the child to do. “Go clean your room” is not only vague but it can be a daunting task also. Start with, "Go pick up all of your Lego’s and then we will work on something else.”

Label containers with pictures and words for what is stored inside. Kids can not put things away if they do not know where they belong.

Do not expect perfection. If you are going to go along behind some one and re-clean because it is not up to your standards then you are just setting yourself up to do chores alone. No one likes to think that they are not good enough. Some things can be below your standards and still be just fine.

Put on some music and dance around while doing chores, this will add an element of fun to the chores and kids will be more likely to participate.

Write each chore that needs to be done on a slip of paper. Each family member then pulls slips until they are gone. This way no one can say they always get stuck with the bad chores.

Be sure to compliment people for helping out. Everyone likes to feel appreciated and if a good deed gets noticed they will want that feeling again.

Make a game of clean up time. Turn on a song or set a timer and say “I think I can pick up more cars than you can before this song is over.” A challenge can go a long way in making things fun.

Be sure that there are some towels in an area that the kids can reach. If they can not reach the items needed to clean up a spill, they can not clean it up.

Kids want to be helpful and they want to do grown up things. This is the time to encourage this desire. All kids should know how to clean up around the house. When they do this, there should be a small reward also. If my son does his chores all week, we go out for donuts on Saturday mornings.

Setting the Table for Kids

As your kids are getting older it will be a good idea to teach them how to set the table for a meal. Not only will this assist you at a busy time of your day but the kids will get a sense of responsibility too. It is always a good idea to work on proper table manners.

Supplies:

Construction paper (darker color)
Fork
Knife
Spoon
Cup

Set the paper in a sunny spot outside. Put the fork on the left hand side, leave an open spot for the plate, and then place the knife and the spoon. The cup belongs up above the spoon and knife. Leave the setting in the sun for about 3-4 hours. The sun will fade the paper in the areas that are not covered leaving a perfect outline for a place setting. We only left ours outside for one hour, but it is good enough to be a sample now.

Once you bring the "placemat" inside, it will give your kids a model to work with while setting the table for a meal. Everyone likes to feel as if they are contributing in some way and setting the table is the perfect way to let the kids contribute.

Tuesday Teachings - The Letter I

Getting back on track with the alphabet and this week is the letter I.

Normally I woudl have a link here for you to go to Scribd.com to print out a copy of the letter I to use with your kids but it has come to our attention that Scribd is planning to charge people to download from their site. This does not follow the goal of our blog or our Kids Matter campaign so we are looking for a new service. Until we locate that new service we have them on our secondary server for your download. It is not as convenient because there is no picture to go along with it on the blog but you can still download from us for FREE!

The Letter I

Words that start with the letter I: Island, Icebox, Iceberg, Iceland, Icon, Identify, In, Ignite, Iguana, Ill, Ink, Illinois, Indiana, Illustrate and Imagination

We started our crafts with Ice Cream. We decorated the letter I with markers and then cut out our letter and glued it to a piece of construction paper. While he decorated the letter I, I was busy cutting out some "Ice Cream" scoops from different colors of construction paper. We then glued the ice cream scoops on top of the I, using the I as our sundae cup.

For our next craft we decided to make an Insect. I let my son color the page with markers and then we cut out the I and glued it to a piece of construction paper and drew on six legs and two eyes. As an extension of this project we went outside on an insect hunt but it was too hot for even the insect to be out.

Our last I craft was an Indian headdress. This time my son glued feathers to the letter I. While he was gluing I cut two strips from brown construction paper and wrapped them around his head to get the size right. I taped the pieces of paper together to make the head band. Once he was finished with the feathers, we glued the page to a page of construction paper for strength as I had printed the letter I on regular printer paper. I then cut out the I and glued it to the front of the head band.

As for a snack, there are not many foods that begin with the letter I, so that makes it a bit of a challenge but these are the ones I came up with: Ice Cream, Iceberg Lettuce, Icicles,

For our snack, we made Icees! They were pretty tasty.

Supplies:
Frozen juice concentrate (we used orange but think limeade would also be good)
Frozen Sherbert (again we used orange but get the flavor to go with your drinks)
Soda (orange or lemon-lime)

Put half of the container in the blender with 3-4 scoops of sherbert. Pour in enough soda to come about 2" above the sherbert. Blend well. If you do not have a blender, you can also make this in a bowl with the back of the spoon. I know this since we have a new blender and I did not read the directions and ended up with the first icee all over the counter!

I hope you have a great time working on your letter I crafts!

A Healthy Family

Kid's Activity Pyramid

There are many things we can do to keep our family healthy. One of the easiest things to do is to just go outside and play. You can play games of tag, hide and seek, kickball, throw a ball, red light/green light or Simon Says. Regardless of the age of your children, you can play a game out side with them.

The youngest kids will understand Simon Says and red light/green light, the older kids will enjoy badminton volleyball, basketball or just tossing a ball around. It does not take a lot of forethought to do these activities and not only will it improve your health and the health of your child but it will also improve the relationship you have with your kids. If you do not already have some of the games that requires equipment, now is the time to purchase it. Stores are marking everything down to super clearance in preparation for fall and winter so summer items have to go. There is still plenty of time for you to use these activities outside though.

Another great thing you can do is a 5K walk or run with the whole family. Pick a local charity and participate in their event. Not only do you get to exercise but you can teach your child about philanthropy by collecting donations. Here in Lexington we can refer to a local shoe store's race calendar, John's Race Calendar. If you look at this calendar you will see that there is at least one race every weekend that is within a short distance of our town. I bet your town is the same way.

If you do not want to do a 5K, you could always put together a race for your family and a group of friends. It would be easy to go to a local track and perform your race. Before arriving, pick a few events or distances. You could have the Dads compete, the Moms compete and the kids compete. The winners of each event would receive a small award like a trophy or a medal. Be sure you have plenty of water and sports drinks on hand along with some oranges, apples and bananas to keep everyone healthy. If you do not have access to a local track, do an obstacle course at the local playground.

If you want it to be a longer lasting activity, buy pedometers for the whole family then pick a destination. From Lexington, maybe I would pick Kings Island in Ohio. When I go to Mapquest I see that it is about 115 miles. When I looked around online I discovered that 2,000 steps is about equal to 1 mile so we would have to walk 230,000 steps to get to King's Island. You could do a graph for each family member that you log the steps to every night. You can compete to see who gets to Kings Island first. It does not have to end with you actually going to the amusement park but it would be fun to then go to the place you are "walking" to.

There are lots of great ways to keep healthy and to teach your children how important it is to use their body every day. Maybe just playing in the backyard with Mom and Dad will teach the kids to love their bodies and to take great care of their bodies.

Teaching Compassion

My son's daycare center used to do this little project where they would "feature" a child a month in each class. When you were chosen to be featured, then the child and/or the parents would make a poster to hang beside the classroom door.

I really enjoyed this project. My son spends most of the day with these kids and I know most of their names but that is about all I knew about them. When they were featured and a poster was done it would always have pictures of their life outside of school and pictures of them with their families. It would include their likes and dislikes, their pets and favorite toys or any other thing the parent wanted to include. This was always lots of fun to see what the other kids did and the classes could discuss the posters during the days and maybe even try out some of the favorite foods or activities that were featured on the poster.

We are very fortunate that our daycare center has a diverse background of families. Everyone does not look the same, everyone does not speak the same and everyone certainly has not developed and met milestones the same. This adds a degree of humanity to my child's life that I may not be able to add on my own. I am appreciative of the families that have embraced my child and are bringing knowledge of other cultures to his life.

We use daycare as both my spouse and I work full time but you do not have to use a daycare to find diversity in your child's life. If you are a stay at home parent there are still ways to meet other parents that may not be just like you. Go to story time at the library or local bookstores, go to the children's museum, go to the local playground or even to an indoor playground in the mall or fast food restaurant. Try not to be shy about introducing yourself to other parents but if that is not something you can do then think about joining a local parenting group. In this area there are several groups that get together during the day for play dates and they are almost always looking to add new members. You can go to Google and do a search for playgroups in your city.

It is important for kids to know that not everyone will look like them or have the same amount of money as them. Kids need to learn that being different is not a bad thing. The sooner a child learns humanity and compassion for people that are different than he is, the more likely we can battle playground bullying together. Compassion begins at home and it is one of the most important lessons you can teach your children. They learn by watching you so before you are rude to a cashier or scream at a driver that cut you off, remember that your child is learning how to interact with people by watching you. We all want our kid's lives to be better than our own but in order to achieve this we must first improve our outlook on our own lives.

Tuesday Teachings - The Letter F

A new week means a new letter. We are moving on with the letter F this week.

F

Some words that start with the letter F are:
Fashion, Fork, Flat, Fly, Fast, Feather, Frog, Fish, Flower, Fry, France, Foot, Flour, Fall, Farm, Five

For our presentation this week we focused on Flower, Feathers, Frogs and Fish.

Our first picture we used Foam Flower Stickers to decorate the F page. We also went outside and picked some Fresh Flowers to decorate the dinner table. Sorry for the sideways picture but my son kept turning the page around because he liked it best that way.

For the next activity we glued some Feathers onto the letter F and then we used the left over feathers as a sensory toy and tickled each others face and arms with them.

For the last craft, we used fish stickers to decorate the page but my son was not impressed with using stickers again, he wanted to get dirty. In order to let him get dirty, we then also put green fingerprints on the F and once dried, I used a black pen to turn the fingerprints into frogs. I think they turned out very cute.

(Close up of the cute frog fingerprints)

You can print out the letter F and put it in a clear sheet protector/report cover or laminate it and give the child a dry erase marker to practice writing the letter F.


You can write the letter F on a chalkboard and give the kid a small amount of water with a paint brush. They can dip the brush in the water and use it to erase/trace your letter.

Find the letter F. Give a child a marker and an old magazine or newspaper. Ask them to go through a few pages and circle the letter F.

Lacing Cards - Print out the letter F and laminate it. Punch a hole every inch or so and let the child lace yarn or a shoestring.

Paint Bag - Squirt some tempura paint of shaving cream in a zipper style bag. Seal the bag, squeezing out as much air as possible. For safety and cleanliness sake, tape the bag closed also. Now put the bag on the desk and allow the child to trace the F.

All crafts that are easy to save, please hold onto those and put them all in a Alphabet Binder for the child. To make the binders I will put the pictures in sheet protectors and then put them in a 3 ring binder.
 
As for our snack I wanted something to fun and the only F food that kept popping into my head was Fish. Fish may be tasty, but it did not meet my fun criteria so we made Fairy Wands instead.
 
 

 
I used pretzel braids, white candy coating and colored sugars.
 
We melted the candy coating in the microwave and then dipped the pretzels in the coating and let the excess drip off some before sprinkling colored sugar on the candy. Then set the wand on wax paper to harden. The colored sugar can be expensive so be sure that you keep a dish under the pretzels to catch any excess when sprinkling it.

Ideas to Help Children Maintain a Healthy Weight

Picture compliments of MyPyramid.gov

You've probably read about it or heard about it on the news, reports state that childhood obesity has continued to climb over the last two decades. Type 2 diabetes, which has always been an adult disease has now also become prevalent in childhood. No longer can Type 2 diabetes be called Adult Onset Diabetes. Children are experiencing heart disease caused by high cholesterol and high blood pressure. Asthma and sleep apnea are on the rise. Children are getting more and more unhealthy, it is time for us to take action. As parents, it is our responsibility to offer our children as healthy a lifestyle as we can.

What can you do?

Help your child maintain a healthy weight by balancing the calories your child consumes with the calories that your child uses through physical activity and normal growth. Children and teens should not be placed on a weight reduction diet without the consultation of a health care provider.

Developing healthy eating habits

This is easiest done by example. If you are eating fast food several times a week then so is your child.

• Look for ways to make your favorite meals a little healthier.
• Provide plenty of vegetables, fruits and whole grains. It is not enough to just buy them, have them cleaned and ready to make it the easiest thing to grab when food is needed.
• Include low-fat or non-fat milk and dairy products in your home. Reports state that the only people that should be consuming full fat milk products are children under the age of two. They need the additional fat but anyone over two does not need the additional fat.
• Choose lean meats, poultry, fish, lentils, and beans for protein. Prepare these foods with little to know additional oil. It does no good to by healthy fish and then batter and fry it to serve your family.
• Serve reasonably sized portions. Do not use restaurants as an example of a healthy portion of food. Most restaurant portions are enough to feed two to three adults.
• Encourage your family to drink lots of water. If they do not like "plain" water, slice up some fresh fruit to serve in it. Water is delicious with lemons, limes, oranges and a variety of other fruits.
• Limit sugar sweetened beverages, this includes sodas and juices.
• Limit the consumption of sugar and saturated fats.
• Remove calorie rich or salty temptations from your home. Everything can be enjoyed in moderation but these items should be an occasional treat not the norm.

You do not have to buy 100 calorie packs of snacks. These are all heavily processed and not very filling so you usually will eat several of them when hunger strikes, instead give these 100 calories or less snacks a try:

• 1 medium sized apple
• 1 medium sized banana
• 1 cup blueberries
• 1 cup grapes (also delicious served frozen)
• 1 cup carrots, broccoli or bell peppers with 2 tbsp hummus
• 10 cashews or 10 almonds
• 3 ounces low-fat cottage cheese and 3 whole-wheat crackers
• 2 large graham cracker squares with 1 teaspoon peanut butter
• 1 small baked potato with 1/2 cup salsa and 2 tablespoons of fat-free sour cream

Help Kids Stay Active

Children and teens should participate in at least 60 minutes of moderate intensity physical activity most days of the week, preferably every day. Some examples of moderate intensity physical activities:

• Brisk Walking - buy pedometers for the family and challenge one another to see who takes the most steps
• Playing tag in the back yard
• Jumping rope
• Playing soccer
• Swimming
• Dancing
• Skating
• Bicycling
• Relay races in the back yard

As you can see, no special equipment is needed other than your determination. Many reports are talking about how parents will soon be outliving their children if the childhood obesity epidemic continues. This is the time for you to stand up and take control. Lead your children to a healthier life and join them on the journey. No one should be sitting on the sidelines watching life play out in front of them. Get out there!

I have a baby. Now what?

When you come home from the hospital with your little bundle of joy, you see nothing but promise when you look into the eyes of your child. Soon you realize that there is a lot of competition between parents. As you are thrilled that your child starts holding her head up on her own, someone else talks about how their child is already rolling over unassisted.

These conversations can get you down quickly and make you wonder if you are doing all that you can for your child. Rest assured that every child does develop on a different time frame. The American Academy of Pediatrics has a list of guidelines and target ages to meet the guidelines but even they know that just because you are not on "target" does not necessarily mean that there is something wrong.

The most important thing you can do for your child is to encourage them and to see everything as an easy opportunity to teach. Some people have a hard time talking to a small baby that is basically unresponsive but that is when a child is absorbing everything you say. They can not speak yet but they can remember words you say and figure out the meaning of the words. They can pick up on small nuances in your voice and demeanor. If you are stressed or angry, they can pick up on that and re-create the same emotions.

Speak to your baby, sing to her and read books to her. This will assist her in time to learn to speak. It is okay to sing the same songs to her over and over. When my child was small, I completely narrated everything I did to him. As I got him dressed I pointed out his arms, legs, head, fingers and toes. He was one of the first children in his class to recognize these body parts. We never really "worked" on learning these things, we just sang a little tune as we got him dressed each morning and then again when we put his pajamas on at night.

Under no circumstances am I telling you that you must go out and buy every toy you can find that says it is an educational toy in order to further your child. I am also not telling you that you should always point out how great your little Timmy is doing and ask your friend why little Abby is so far behind. I am encouraging you to use your imagination to teach the basics to your child in the first years of his life.

As you put on their shoes, ask for the left foot and then the right foot. They will not always get it right but they will learn that there is a difference. As you tie those same shoes, recite the shoe tying song (sang to the tune of Here We Go 'Round the Mulberry Bush):

This is the way I tie my shoes

Tie my shoes
Tie my shoes
This is the way I tie my shoes
So early in the morning!

By making little bunny ears
Bunny ears
Bunny ears
By making little bunny ears
So early in the morning!

I tie them in a little knot
Little knot
Little knot
I tie them in a little knot
So early in the morning!

As you do things throughout your day, sing about it to your child. You will not immediately see your child carrying on conversations but you will be rewarded later when they begin to develop language skills.

Do not just speak to your child though, they need your touch also. Snuggle, cuddle and rock your baby. Every touch stimulates the baby's brain. Do not just do these things when your baby is upset, nurture him when he is happy, alert and quiet also. This will be just as rewarding for you as it is for the baby. This will release some tension for you and will help you to bond with the baby. Your child looks at you with eyes of love and trust when they are happy and rested, relish this time.