Julia @ Kids Matter
I was recently asked to write a Blog about planning a wedding and getting married. I was a little thrown off guard by this request since my blogs are usually geared toward day care directors and teachers. I was asked to do this because I am getting married in just a hair under a month. I started this blog a few days after I was asked, and was rolling along as happy as a piggy in slop when my world crashed into a major road block.
The Government Shut Down of 2013!
My fiancé is one of the 800,000 Government employees who have been placed on furlough until the disagreement between congress and the current administration is resolved. I am not going to use this blog as a platform to discuss my political views; I see that enough on Facebook and have had my belly full at this point. What I am going to blog about is how this shutdown is affecting me and my world. My little world was filled with counting down the calendar days until I would be married to the man of my dreams.
On my break this afternoon, with tears in my eyes, I had to call my florist and email my baker to ask exactly when I would need to cancel our order if the shutdown continues. My florist told me I would need to let them know by October 15th. Followed closely to that unfortunate statement was her deepest apology for what we are forced into and how upset she is with our government.
I am hurt that my dream wedding with the All Hallows Eve theme is being scaled back. We are paying for our wedding and honeymoon completely on our own. I am upset that we got this far, and that all the hard work, careful budgeting, planning, designing, and working two jobs (I might add) are just slipping through my fingers like sand. But… to be honest, I care more about him. I care more about those 15 minutes when we will look into each other’s eyes and make that life-long commitment to one another. We have a lifetime to have perfect moments and social events. All we need are those 15 minutes!
When planning a wedding, you go through so many ups and downs that you don’t know which way to go half the time. Planning a wedding is very tough! It is almost like having a part time job. You have so many things to think about: décor, theme, colors, bridal party, clothing, food, music, lighting, beauty, trying NOT to strangle your mother, avoiding having your cousin as a bridesmaid, toasts, whether throwing a bouquet is humiliating for your friends or not, DIETING, photographers (and HOW they live with themselves by charging what they charge), cake, limos, honeymoon location, rehearsal dinner, and on and on and on it goes!
I worked in the formal wear industry for many years, so I know all about planning weddings and the hurricanes they can cause! I can tell you about going to bridal shows, entering drawings, planning a year ahead of time, not losing weight after your first dress fitting, etc. But, I’m not going to. I could write about how to haggle with caterers and the best time of year to reserve a venue. But I’m not going to. My advice to you… if you are planning a wedding, or waiting with baited breath for the question to be popped is to understand this… it’s all about those 15 minutes when you are actually getting married to your best friend. It’s about you and your life partner. Those 15 minutes are all you will truly care about when you are older and all is said and done.
Those 15 minutes are what you will think about as you walk hand in hand through the park on the first real crisp day of fall. It’s those 15 minutes that you will think about when you are being coached by the love of your life as you curse them and scream at them while pushing the life you made together into this world. It’s those 15 minutes that you will think about when you lose your job and come home to find your favorite meal and dessert with a ‘we’ll get through this,’ smile that could light Broadway. It’s those 15 minutes that you will think about as your spouse helps you recover from an illness or supports you on a slow walk through that same park 40 years later. And it’s those 15 minutes that you will think of while holding his hand as your life partner takes that last breath.
Your marriage is not defined by what center pieces you have, or if all your bridesmaids have pink and white finger tips. It is defined by why you are doing this. You are doing this for each other! You are doing it for those 15 precious minutes!
I may have had to make some hard calls today about canceling things for my wedding, but I am not sad anymore. I know that all the planning in the world could not have prepared me for this road block. Nothing can prepare you for when life throws you curve balls. That IS life at its finest! It’s not allowed to be simple and easy going. If it were, then we would never truly appreciate anything!
So, moral of the story… plan your dream wedding, but, ALWAYS have a plan B. Don’t strangle your mom (she is just from another time period and wants nothing more than to see you happy), and most importantly do it for those life changing 15 minutes!
P.S. I would like to dedicate this blog to my coworkers here in J County for the prayers and offers to help my love bug and I as we stumble through the next few weeks. And, to all of you who may be wondering where your next car payment is coming from because you too have been furloughed, I am with you in spirit. Let’s all stand together and hope that they lay down their swords and get our America back to work.